Unwritten Rules of Living in Metro Detroit

Welcome to Metro Detroit's Unwritten Rules - Video Below

Here, the secrets of Motor City living are revealed in this expertly curated list of unwritten rules, with a real estate twist. Through a combination of surveys, online forums, and local history and tradition, these insider tips are sure to amaze and entertain both long-time residents and newcomers alike. Get ready to discover the hidden gems and little-known quirks that make living in the Motor City truly unique.

Meijer Over Walmart

First things first: when it comes to one-stop shopping, Meijer is the way to go. Think Walmart, Kroger, and Michaels all rolled into one, with a friendly greeter at the door and reasonable prices to boot. The only downside, or upside depending on how you look at it, is that they do enforce more of a strict dress code than Walmart - so you'll have to wear pants.

Paczki

But let's move on to the real nitty-gritty of Detroit culture: the food. If you're going to fit in here, you need to know how to pronounce "Paczki" (hint: it's "pun-ch-kee"). And while this 1200-calorie pastry may look like a simple donut, trust us - it's so much more. We all indulge in five of these delicacies every Fat Tuesday, and we firmly believe that calories don't count on that magical day.

American vs Lafayette Coney Island

When it comes to local delicacies, there's nothing quite like a Coney Dog. The majority of Metro Detroiters will tell you that the best coneys around come from either American Coney Island or neighboring Lafayette Coney Island in Downtown Detroit. If you can't decide which is best, just remember: you can try both, but you can't claim allegiance to both.

No Cheese Please

No matter which establishment wins your heart and taste buds for best Coney Dog, there’s one rule that should always be remembered - NO CHEESE! A Detroit Coney should only include a bun, hot dog, chili, mustard, and onions. That is it. And don’t you dare add ketchup!

East Side vs. West Side

Some things in Metro Detroit are simply one or another, but you can’t have both…

If you're looking to buy a home here, you'll quickly find that locals have some pretty strong opinions on what makes a neighborhood "East Side" or "West Side." But where, exactly, do these two sides start and end? That's a debate that's been raging for years, with deep West Siders claiming that the divide lies at Woodward Avenue, while East Siders swear it's Schoenherr Road. For any locals reading this article, where do you stand? Comment below and let us know - though be warned, the opinions on this topic run deep.

Split Level vs. Cape Cod

Of course, the divide between the East and West Sides doesn't just extend to neighborhood boundaries. It even affects the way homes are described in real estate listings. On the East Side, homes with first-floor master bedrooms and the rest of the bedrooms upstairs are known as Split Levels. But on the West Side, they're called Cape Cods - and there's a fierce battle over which term is correct, particularly in Rochester Hills and Shelby Township. A recent analysis of 2022 sales in those two cities found that 71% of first-floor masters in Rochester Hills were listed as Cape Cods, while 63% of those in Shelby Township were labeled Split Levels. So if you're searching for that particular style of home in those areas, make sure to search for both terms to ensure you don't miss any potential matches.

GM vs Ford vs Chrysler

One debate of Metro Detroit that will never be settled is which of The Big Three (GM, Ford, or Chrysler) makes the best vehicles. Everyone has their own opinions, which are often based on family ties and where they get their discounts. While we won’t list our favorite here, Ford's A Plan admittedly seems to give the best discount.

it's a love/hate relationship

When it comes to football, Detroit Lions fans are diehard supporters. Each season, fans show up for preseason games with high hopes, only to be disappointed again and again. Despite this, we do our best to remain optimistic and somehow convince ourselves that this could be the year the Lions win (or AT LEAST make it to) the Super Bowl. However, that dream is usually shattered once they're mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, which is when the trash talk and blame typically sets in. But, there’s always next year.

Claim to Fame

While the Detroit Lions may not make a Super Bowl anytime in this lifetime (or the next), we can at least claim some credit for the success of former Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford, who was traded to the LA Rams before leading them to a championship season. Whatever… we can vicariously live through their success. After all, it was OUR quarterback who got them there, right? RIGHT?!?

Parking at Greektown

When it comes to parking in downtown Detroit, Greektown Casino reigns supreme, even if you're not there to gamble. With the proper membership card, you can park in the exclusive member's area on floors 3-6, saving a significant amount of money compared to other downtown lots, which typically charge upwards of $40 for parking during events.

Less Than Legit Lot Parking

If you’re looking for event parking anywhere else in downtown Detroit, there’s a good chance you may see people wearing orange vests charging fees of $10 to $20 for parking. While they may not be exactly legitimate, locals often pay them anyway to secure better parking and watch their vehicles.

Opening Day is a Holiday

Of all the sporting events in Detroit, Opening Day for the Detroit Tigers' first game of the season is considered a banking holiday in Metro Detroit. So much so that some high schools have been known to give students the day off as long as they can provide a ticket as proof of attending the game. This tradition has been going on for 30 years, and it likely won’t be stopping anytime soon.

Vernors Cures Everything

When it comes to fizzy drinks, there's a clear winner in Detroit: Vernors. It's not just a beverage, it's a cure-all from everything from an upset stomach to helping with a sore throat… perhaps mixed with a bit of whiskey. Don't believe it? Ask any Detroiter, and they'll tell you it's true. The story goes that Vernors was created in 1862 by Michigan pharmacist James Vernor, making it the oldest pop (not ‘soda’) in America. Whether it's the power of suggestion or a legitimate remedy, Vernors has a special place in the hearts of many Michiganders.

Stay Out of the Left Lane

If you're driving on the highways around Metro Detroit, there are a few things you need to know. First and foremost: stay out of the left lane on 696 or I275. No matter how fast you're going, there's always someone trying to go faster. Unless you're cruising along at 60 mph, in which case that person will inevitably end up in the left lane. Welcome to the Motor City.

Southfield Freeway is a Speed Trap

Another area to watch out for when driving is the Southfield Freeway. It's known to be one big speed trap, especially between Michigan Avenue and Rotunda. You can pretty well count on two officers waiting on the various ramps, ready to catch unsuspecting drivers. And they never have to wait long. Also, merge lanes are notoriously short when entering the freeway, so watch out for merging traffic and keep your eyes peeled for unsuspecting motorists when merging yourself.

Don’t Stop Believin’

Detroit has several nicknames, one of the most well-known being ‘Detroit Rock City’. That being said, we have a special spot in our hearts for rock’n’roll, and music in general. you have to shout the Journey line in "Don't Stop Believing": "born and raised in South Detroit." Of course, there is no such place as "South Detroit," but there is a region called Downriver, and almost none of us are from there. But we keep singing along anyway.

Detroit vs. Everyone

Finally, Detroiters are fiercely protective of their city, even if we all have our ideas on how to improve it. One thing most of us can agree on, though, is that the QLine is not the answer. We'll keep defending our city from outsiders, but we'll always be working to make it better.

Conclusion

While none of the rules listed here are actual laws, they are a reflection of the customs and values that make Detroit such a special place to live. The Motor City is more than a place to call home, it's a way of life. It's full of hard-working people, of diverse cultures and traditions, and of a rich history that continues to shape its present and future. If you have yet to experience it for yourself, you should come see what all the excitement is about. Who knows, you may even discover some new traditions to call your own!

If you're looking to make a move anywhere in Metro Detroit give us a call at 248-494-4698 or click one of the links below to get started.

Posted by Michael Perna on February 24th, 2023